| Billy Connolly Quotes |
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Scottish Comedian, Actor.
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When you're involved in an accident and someone asks "are you alright?" Yes fine thanks, I'll just pick up my limbs and be off.
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When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks, "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here?
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When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why would you keep looking after you've found it?
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What always staggers me is that when people blow their noses, they always look into their hankies to see what came out. What do they expect to find? A silver sixpence?
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You have to open your mind to every new experience. This week I've been sneezing with my eyes open.
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Men have to make love to feel loved. Women have to feel loved to make love.
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I've always wanted to go to Switzerland to see what the army does with those wee red knives.
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