| Chris Rock Quotes |
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US Comedic Actor.
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Jim Carrey makes $20 million a movie. I make a weird face when they tell me I have to pay $8.50 to see one.
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I don't get high, but sometimes I wish I did. That way, when I messed up in life I would have an excuse. But right now there's no rehab for stupidity.
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If a woman tells you she's twenty and looks sixteen, she's twelve. If she tells you she's twenty-six and looks twenty-six, she's damn near forty.
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Never go to clubs with metal detectors. Sure it feels safe inside. But what about all those niggas waiting outside with guns? They know you ain't got one.
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I love being famous. It's almost like being white, y'know? People are nice to ya, they give you the benefit o' the doubt... You drive a flash car down the freeway and the cops'll pull y'over and before they even look they like 'What the f**k are you doing?' and then they see it's you and they like 'Awww man, it's Chris Rock, it's okay, man we thought you was a nigga'
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Right now, my job is that I'm like an ambulance chaser. I've got to look for movies with white guys falling out of them.
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Only thing I know about Africa is that it's far far away. A 35 hour flight. Imagine the boat ride. The boat ride is so long that there's still slaves on their way here!
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You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named 'Bush', 'Dick', and 'Colon'.
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Shouldn't you have to be able to say 'governor' to run for governor? He's running against Gary Coleman. I saw Twins the first time and it sucked.
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I had a little girl. She's a year old and she smokes now. The kids aren't going to listen to you so you gotta try reverse psychology with the kids, so I give her cigarettes and I give her crack with the hope that some day she will reject all of this.
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